My Girlfriends

Remember that show with Tracee Ellis Ross and Golden Marie Brooks, and two other women whose names I can't remember?

Girlfriends?!

Well, I don't have girlfriends. I have a few, but definitley don't have that tight, close-knit clique that was portrayed on the show.

I wonder from time to time if I'm missing out on a lot by not having them. I never think on it too long, because I know I'm blessed to have good friends around - regardless of their sex.

But yesterday Mr. Man told me that his mom wanted to be my friend.

Fiance say wha?

I guess I have to take this back to a few days ago. Ms. Man called my phone. She was looking for Mr. Man. The first time she ever did that I didn't know what to think. Partly because, the first time she called my phone coincided with the first time I performed oral sex on him. When the phone rings and its a mom - we stop whatever we're doing. So just imagine how AWKWARD that was. Yeah.

Of course, I was panicking because I thought that somehow she would equate my answering the phone after a couple thousand rings (finally!) as knowing that we were being Nasty Mc Freakies. Granted, that's exactly what was going on, but who really wants to appear to be a skank if they're trying to get in good with the family? Exactly.

But a few days ago Ms. Man called my phone looking for Mr. Man. I was out of my brain gone off of some Excedrin to relieve my cramps. I tried to engage with small talk, because obviously I don't want to be all like "No, he ain't here. Bye." I asked her how she was doing, what could I help her with (even though I knew before she asked she was looking for her son), asked her if she got over her cold. I wasn't trying to engage in small talk for brownie points, but because I actually was interested in her well-being. We did talk for a few moments, and I shared with her how I left work early because of my cramps. She commiserated with me, and before long, she hung up.

The next day, Mr. Man calls me at work all concerned about his mom. Apparently she spent the morning crying. She is extremely down on herself. I'm sure part of it has to do with the fact she lost her job (not her fault - she got laid off). But I know the majority of people identify their job with their self-worth. Also, I imagine how lonely she gets from time to time with her children fairly independent. I believe that, I understand these emotions on a woman to woman basis. And because of my understanding, that's why I ask Mr. Man to make sure he calls his mother. Not necessarily to ask "Are you okay?" but just to listen. But for some reason I have noticed that my reflection on Mr. Man's mom somehow makes me consider my actions towards my own mom. He confided in me that they really got to talking about some things, and one of her suggestions was to spend more time with me.

Me?!

She is looking for a gal pal to talk to, maybe go out to dinner with once in a while. He was telling his mom how he couldn't see how I wouldn't be up for the idea. Which is true to a certain extent. But the whole notion of seeking out friends spurred this entry. I don't seek friends out - I typically hold on to the ones I have as much as I can. Time, space, and circumstance are all contributing factors as to why sometimes the holds loosen. I feel very good that Mr. Man's mom feels that she can come to me as an adult outside of the girl who happens to be pursuing a relationship with her son.