One of the things I did on my staycation (well before I checked into the hotel) was stop by the university to meet with...dun dun dun...my academic advisor. I was a few minutes late, I'll admit that much. While I was in the lobby waiting for her to come and introduce herself I read some of the information that was scattered around the office. One thing I can always say about my alma mater is that they def. do give you all the information that's necessary for you to do what you need to do, and then some.
A meek voice called my name. I stood up to approach a pretty average, thin, Black woman with thick hair. Right on. Her office was super dark. I didn't find it to be to conducive to advising, but to each their own. Her office was sparsely decorated. Maybe she just started working there? Did she get one of the jobs I applied for? (lol - I now know I can't get a job at my alma mater since I owe money :-P) Do I really want someone who just started working there guiding my graduate studies? I didn't care - on my staycation I had two primary objectives: to get my degree plan (and then I could register for school once I do pay off my balance) and to make Mr. Man feel comfortable about registering for his fall semester. Within half an hour, my degree plan for the next two years (possibly more) was plotted out. I was excited and accomplished feeling. For the moment I like my salary and where I'm at in my current job so this teaching certification is definitley more for my future than anything - which is why I'm extremely lax about the time it takes for me to obtain this degree. :-) Did I mention my loans will be deferred until I complete this degree? Yay - I'll drag this out as much as possible thanks, lol.
I am so proud of Mr. Man. He went and did the damn thing at his soon to be future university. I'm proud of the school (one of the best education schools in Illinois) and I'm happy that the enrollment process seems very seamless. No drama, please. The counselors kept saying how good his grades were and how impressed they were with him. He was just as happy. I mean ear to ear smile happy. He deserves to be happy like that. He's going back to school - and I don't know if I mentioned that he starts his new job very soon. :-)
Yesterday, Mr. Man went to see his daughter in a play - which I'm glad he was able to get to. He shared with me how IG (click here to witness how she earned the moniker IG aka Ignorant Girlie bka his daughter's mother) was itching to get a rise out of him for whatever reason possible. I suppose she was being unsuccessful until she referenced me in conversation. It's interesting to me how I could possibly occupy so much of her mental space seeing as how I have never met her and her only point of reference of me is a two minute conversation we had two months ago. I guess Mr. Man began to shut it down because the ignorant conversation was taking place in front of his daughter - which he found offense to, called her ghetto, and basically left her with her mouth open as he shifted attention to the only person who warrants attention, his daughter. I really don't respect her (although I have an ounce in regards to her position as his daughter's mother but outside of that) to me you have to give respect to get respect. I don't feel like she respects me (and I suppose that's for obvious reasons.) I don't believe its related to me per se, but I do know she would love to see Mr. Man as miserable as her - and more importantly- she has to blame him for her misery. I believe Mr. Man handled himself (only he knows how to deal with IG's madness) and as we were laying down recounting the days events, our fingers intertwined and my head on his chest, I whispered to him "One monkey don't stop no show...can't nothing stop us" and I feel like it's true. We set goals at the top of our union and slowly those goals are coming into fruition.
I'm all settled in after my glorious staycation. That was a huge checkmark. Now I have to get my driver's license (this is the world's longest process - I have been procrastinating for so long!) pay off the rest of this debt...and turn on my binoculars to start gathering items to move...I'm in a good place now, with my family, my friends, and my love and I am just going to keep on going...I'm headed for the top and I can't allow anything to stop me.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
There's No Place Like Home
When Mr. Man and I came back home with my luggage in tow, I ran around back to see if the stray cats I feed were there. I wondered if they missed me on my staycation. I couldn't tell if they were there because of the grass in the yard - it's up to my ankles - at least.
I ran back around front to pound on the door.
I was too excited - wanted to feel welcome in my home.
Not the hotel - with it's jaded version of reality, but my home. My too small bedroom, my 13 inch tv, my twin bed and purple satin comforter. Yes. I wanted to be home. No more eating out - I wanted my mama's cooking - anything lean and green and well seasoned with that undeniable feeling of love - not duty, but love cooked in it.
I was home.
My staycation started last Friday and came to a close this Saturday. I lived the life. Stayed in a swanky Chicago hotel from Tuesday to Friday. Woke up every morning in a King bed with my King by my side - after having the world's best sex until I could no longer physically stand it. Although having sex as often as possible sounds like an ideal situation - the va-jay-jay gets tired. Shit, everything gets sore and tired after a while, lol. Experienced the majority of what Chicago has to offer for a low price (the aquarium was such a special surprise! We had so much fun with the interactive show, taking photos of fishies, dolphins, baby whales, and Spongebob Squarepants). All in all - I had a fantastic, well-needed vacation away from work, away from family - away from it all.
Yet, at the end of the day, I wanted nothing more than to go home. Argue with my brothers about stuff that I'd forget in a manner of minutes, shoot the breeze with my mom...you know how it is when you're at home. There is the saying that parents have - the saying about giving a kid what they want? Well, I had what I wanted and discovered that there is simply no place like home. My mom's home. I told Mr. Man that when we have children we need to let them know that no matter what the circumstances, no matter what the argument or disagreement, they need to know they can always come home.
But I also discovered there's nothing like having the freedom that comes with being on vacation. No time schedules. Nothing to worry about except figuring out what activity to explore next. Or opting to just stay in bed under the covers because you can. I want to go on vacations once every four months. I was telling Mr. Man how when we get married, we're going to have to schedule time away from home or make our home so fabulous we can just unwind there. I think there's this culture in America to work work work to obtain a certain lifestyle, but, then the more you work for the lifestyle the less you get to enjoy it. Forget that. That's not the life I want to live. That's the life my parents lived. And I'm not knocking it, at all. I just want something different. Life is too short to not enjoy it and I want to enjoy my life, my love, my occupation - and I don't think that is too much to ask for.
Now I am just relaxing. It's true when they say you need a vacation after a vacation, because I'm tired but it's a good kind of tired.
I ran back around front to pound on the door.
I was too excited - wanted to feel welcome in my home.
Not the hotel - with it's jaded version of reality, but my home. My too small bedroom, my 13 inch tv, my twin bed and purple satin comforter. Yes. I wanted to be home. No more eating out - I wanted my mama's cooking - anything lean and green and well seasoned with that undeniable feeling of love - not duty, but love cooked in it.
I was home.
My staycation started last Friday and came to a close this Saturday. I lived the life. Stayed in a swanky Chicago hotel from Tuesday to Friday. Woke up every morning in a King bed with my King by my side - after having the world's best sex until I could no longer physically stand it. Although having sex as often as possible sounds like an ideal situation - the va-jay-jay gets tired. Shit, everything gets sore and tired after a while, lol. Experienced the majority of what Chicago has to offer for a low price (the aquarium was such a special surprise! We had so much fun with the interactive show, taking photos of fishies, dolphins, baby whales, and Spongebob Squarepants). All in all - I had a fantastic, well-needed vacation away from work, away from family - away from it all.
Yet, at the end of the day, I wanted nothing more than to go home. Argue with my brothers about stuff that I'd forget in a manner of minutes, shoot the breeze with my mom...you know how it is when you're at home. There is the saying that parents have - the saying about giving a kid what they want? Well, I had what I wanted and discovered that there is simply no place like home. My mom's home. I told Mr. Man that when we have children we need to let them know that no matter what the circumstances, no matter what the argument or disagreement, they need to know they can always come home.
But I also discovered there's nothing like having the freedom that comes with being on vacation. No time schedules. Nothing to worry about except figuring out what activity to explore next. Or opting to just stay in bed under the covers because you can. I want to go on vacations once every four months. I was telling Mr. Man how when we get married, we're going to have to schedule time away from home or make our home so fabulous we can just unwind there. I think there's this culture in America to work work work to obtain a certain lifestyle, but, then the more you work for the lifestyle the less you get to enjoy it. Forget that. That's not the life I want to live. That's the life my parents lived. And I'm not knocking it, at all. I just want something different. Life is too short to not enjoy it and I want to enjoy my life, my love, my occupation - and I don't think that is too much to ask for.
Now I am just relaxing. It's true when they say you need a vacation after a vacation, because I'm tired but it's a good kind of tired.
Monday, May 25, 2009
We're Just Ordinary People
It’s a little past 9:30 AM on Memorial Day. The official fourth day of my stay-cation. It’s not nearly as warm outside as I would prefer it to be, but I’ll live. I just want the sun to try and come up out of the clouds temporarily.
This past weekend has been pretty nice. Friday I had lunch with Elia which was nice. We went downtown to this little restaurant not too far from the library and school and ate on the roof. She loved it. I think back to the times when I first met Elia and she was even more sheltered than I was. Her sheltered life was a result of her disability though. Elia actually wasn’t born sick. She was stricken with a very bad case of arthritis when she was a teenager. She never got to experience high school the way typical teenagers experience it because she was in and out of the hospital. No proms, no typical high school shenanigans. I don’t know if it’s because her family feared for her overall safety, or because she didn’t desire to explore her surroundings, but there is so much in Chicago that Elia hasn’t done yet. I never will forget the first year we went to the Taste of Chicago. She told me that her boyfriend at the time said it wasn’t accessible for people like her. Since I’ve met her there have been so many firsts, and I’m glad to say I was there to witness them with her. Eating downtown at the rooftop pub was absolutely no different. She said it reminded her of The Hills. The food was good; they had very little food that had turkey in it though. Well actually, they offered it on the menu – they just didn’t have any more left. We asked for turkey meatballs – they were out, lol. Then we asked for turkey bacon for our turkey burgers – they were out of that also, lol. We made the best of it though, as we always do. Elia is one of the people I frequently disagree with – on a variety of things, but, she lets me disagree with her. Most people really believe that you can’t be friends with a person unless you like all the same things and agree on everything. I just look at them like they’re crazy. This world is all about give and take, but even more importantly this world is about the freedom to choose. After lunch with Elia I went to get my eyebrows arched. The lady did an alright job – I kind of thought she could have done better though. They aren’t horrible but they don’t seem as precise as when the other older lady does them. She wasn’t there on Friday. When she does them she whips out the scissors and the tweezers and the wax, lol. But when she’s done –ooh wee, they look super sharp. This time, eh, not so much, lol. I gave her $2 (instead of $5) tip and kept it moving. The owner asked if I wanted a manicure/pedicure and although everything inside me was screaming “YES – girl get ya’ toes done too!” I declined. I had convinced myself I could do my own toes – and saving the money from the pedicure means an extra meal I can afford on my stay-cation.
As I was determining whether or not to go home or to Mr. Man’s house, Mr. Man called me from his sister’s house, and I decided to go to his house. I had already bought snacks because I was going to go home to watch a movie. He picked me up from the train station in his dad’s BMW. (This is significant, because this comes back up later.) We went to rent Valkyrie (yet another Tom Cruise movie, lol) and surprisingly it was pretty good. It was difficult to watch it with his nephews running around – and sometimes being around them makes me so grateful I don’t have children, lol. Why are other people’s children sometimes the best form of birth control, lol? They aren’t bad kids - just extremely active. And I have peeped the situation – it’s the younger one that gets things crackin’. Anyway, the night was over – he dropped his nephews and mom off at the Greyhound station and we took his sister home. We finished Valkyrie and were hungry again. As we were pulling out of his sister’s parking lot, we pull to the side of the street. An unmarked police car pulls up – and we think that it wants to get past so that’s why we pull over. Uh uh. This car stops dead in front of us and two plainclothes cops get out of the car. The blue lights are bright and I’m wondering what this stop could really be about. I look at the time – a little past 9PM. I look around us, and there aren’t that many people out and about (for a Friday night in the hood – it’s quiet.) I look over at Mr. Man who hasn’t said anything about anything. One of the cops were Hispanic. He was the one doing most of the talking. The Black cop was working the walkie talkie and stayed by the car. The Hispanic asked where we were coming from and where we were headed. I could tell Mr. Man was annoyed when he did speak. Mr. Man told him we were leaving his mom’s house and he was taking his fiancé home. The Hispanic asked who lived in the house we just left. Mr. Man looked at him with a cocked eyebrow and responded “MY MOTHER.” The Black cop motioned for the Hispanic cop to come back to the car and just like that they were gone. Mr. Man drove for a while before pulling into another apartment complex’s parking lot. He responded before I could ask - “I just need a moment.” Before that whole situation, we were talking about what to get to eat and I tried to get the conversation back to that point. We decided to get something closer to my house to avoid any possible other confrontations. Eventually he started acting like his regular self. I didn’t like the situation one bit. I don’t know how White people feel when they are approached by a cop but I know for Black people it’s not a welcoming or comforting situation to be in. The cops are supposed to serve and protect but usually if you’re Black (innocent or criminal – it doesn’t matter because all Blacks are the same and they are always doing something contrary to the law at all times) the cops only serve their own interests and protect the state. I wondered if it was because he was in his dad’s BMW that he got stopped. That wasn’t it. They were looking for some Black person and most likely stopped a dozen Black males on their way to finding who they were looking for. We ended up going to the grocery store and getting food. Then we came back to my place briefly so I could fix his plate and he could be on his way to his dad’s place.
I was pretty worried (for obvious reasons) about Mr. Man’s travels so I demanded for him to call me when he got in. I don’t know when Mr. Man and I will get the chance to spend as much quality time together as we have the past few days, and will spend in the next few days, but lately I’ve noticed we’ve been extremely close. I can’t say there has been a time when we’ve been distant per se (I know I have been pretty distant anytime there has been a pregnancy scare- but that has been more about me and less about him than anything) and I don’t mind the closeness. On Saturday before our Bible Study lesson he told me that he missed me even though he had only seen me just a few hours ago, which I thought was pretty sentimental.
So, we keep the Sabbath and one of the things about the Sabbath is the whole “avoiding polluting the Sabbath.” You’re supposed to be as chill as possible, give praise to God, reflect on all the wonders he puts into motion. But this particular Sabbath we found ourselves fighting back the urge to have lots and lots of sex. It would start innocently enough – I would kiss him on the cheek for making my salad just how I like it – and he would turn his head so he could get kissed on the lips. And then…I’m on my back, lol. It was like – hey – we’ve got 6 more hours slim – simmer down, lol. I don’t really know how we managed to get through those hours but we did. An interesting topic came up though – I don’t know about Mr. Man’s biological clock sometimes, lol. Now – granted, I go through periods of time when I want kids, not in the future, but right this second. They’re so cute, cuddly, warm, and smell good, lol. I mean…babies smell wonderful!! Luckily though, when I feel like this I just go to work, make googily eyes at the beautiful babies that come in, and keep it moving. Mr. Man went on record on Saturday and blatantly stated that he cannot wait for us to make the conscious decision to have children. I looked at him – thought to myself if he said what I thought he said before asking “huh” and the way he was looking down at me let me know he did say what I thought he said. It was an interesting conversation that followed – we wondered if it would be easy for us to conceive, how many children we want, how long before we have children – all of that good stuff. Above everything else it made me extremely confident in the direction we were headed together. To know that we’re on the same page even when it comes to having children is a pretty good deal. It’s so much better to have the conversation prior to being with child, lol. I know that oftentimes women get competitive – if there is another child in the picture. “Well my child will be better than her’s.” I’ve seen too many women get caught up in some crazy logic when it comes to parenthood. I’m in no rush to have Mr. Man’s child just to be on the same level as I.G. (Ignorant Girlie AKA his daughter’s mother). It isn’t necessary. We’re in an excellent place to move forward on our own little path no matter what anyone thinks or says.
This is absolutely long enough so I’ll cut this here. Peace!
This past weekend has been pretty nice. Friday I had lunch with Elia which was nice. We went downtown to this little restaurant not too far from the library and school and ate on the roof. She loved it. I think back to the times when I first met Elia and she was even more sheltered than I was. Her sheltered life was a result of her disability though. Elia actually wasn’t born sick. She was stricken with a very bad case of arthritis when she was a teenager. She never got to experience high school the way typical teenagers experience it because she was in and out of the hospital. No proms, no typical high school shenanigans. I don’t know if it’s because her family feared for her overall safety, or because she didn’t desire to explore her surroundings, but there is so much in Chicago that Elia hasn’t done yet. I never will forget the first year we went to the Taste of Chicago. She told me that her boyfriend at the time said it wasn’t accessible for people like her. Since I’ve met her there have been so many firsts, and I’m glad to say I was there to witness them with her. Eating downtown at the rooftop pub was absolutely no different. She said it reminded her of The Hills. The food was good; they had very little food that had turkey in it though. Well actually, they offered it on the menu – they just didn’t have any more left. We asked for turkey meatballs – they were out, lol. Then we asked for turkey bacon for our turkey burgers – they were out of that also, lol. We made the best of it though, as we always do. Elia is one of the people I frequently disagree with – on a variety of things, but, she lets me disagree with her. Most people really believe that you can’t be friends with a person unless you like all the same things and agree on everything. I just look at them like they’re crazy. This world is all about give and take, but even more importantly this world is about the freedom to choose. After lunch with Elia I went to get my eyebrows arched. The lady did an alright job – I kind of thought she could have done better though. They aren’t horrible but they don’t seem as precise as when the other older lady does them. She wasn’t there on Friday. When she does them she whips out the scissors and the tweezers and the wax, lol. But when she’s done –ooh wee, they look super sharp. This time, eh, not so much, lol. I gave her $2 (instead of $5) tip and kept it moving. The owner asked if I wanted a manicure/pedicure and although everything inside me was screaming “YES – girl get ya’ toes done too!” I declined. I had convinced myself I could do my own toes – and saving the money from the pedicure means an extra meal I can afford on my stay-cation.
As I was determining whether or not to go home or to Mr. Man’s house, Mr. Man called me from his sister’s house, and I decided to go to his house. I had already bought snacks because I was going to go home to watch a movie. He picked me up from the train station in his dad’s BMW. (This is significant, because this comes back up later.) We went to rent Valkyrie (yet another Tom Cruise movie, lol) and surprisingly it was pretty good. It was difficult to watch it with his nephews running around – and sometimes being around them makes me so grateful I don’t have children, lol. Why are other people’s children sometimes the best form of birth control, lol? They aren’t bad kids - just extremely active. And I have peeped the situation – it’s the younger one that gets things crackin’. Anyway, the night was over – he dropped his nephews and mom off at the Greyhound station and we took his sister home. We finished Valkyrie and were hungry again. As we were pulling out of his sister’s parking lot, we pull to the side of the street. An unmarked police car pulls up – and we think that it wants to get past so that’s why we pull over. Uh uh. This car stops dead in front of us and two plainclothes cops get out of the car. The blue lights are bright and I’m wondering what this stop could really be about. I look at the time – a little past 9PM. I look around us, and there aren’t that many people out and about (for a Friday night in the hood – it’s quiet.) I look over at Mr. Man who hasn’t said anything about anything. One of the cops were Hispanic. He was the one doing most of the talking. The Black cop was working the walkie talkie and stayed by the car. The Hispanic asked where we were coming from and where we were headed. I could tell Mr. Man was annoyed when he did speak. Mr. Man told him we were leaving his mom’s house and he was taking his fiancé home. The Hispanic asked who lived in the house we just left. Mr. Man looked at him with a cocked eyebrow and responded “MY MOTHER.” The Black cop motioned for the Hispanic cop to come back to the car and just like that they were gone. Mr. Man drove for a while before pulling into another apartment complex’s parking lot. He responded before I could ask - “I just need a moment.” Before that whole situation, we were talking about what to get to eat and I tried to get the conversation back to that point. We decided to get something closer to my house to avoid any possible other confrontations. Eventually he started acting like his regular self. I didn’t like the situation one bit. I don’t know how White people feel when they are approached by a cop but I know for Black people it’s not a welcoming or comforting situation to be in. The cops are supposed to serve and protect but usually if you’re Black (innocent or criminal – it doesn’t matter because all Blacks are the same and they are always doing something contrary to the law at all times) the cops only serve their own interests and protect the state. I wondered if it was because he was in his dad’s BMW that he got stopped. That wasn’t it. They were looking for some Black person and most likely stopped a dozen Black males on their way to finding who they were looking for. We ended up going to the grocery store and getting food. Then we came back to my place briefly so I could fix his plate and he could be on his way to his dad’s place.
I was pretty worried (for obvious reasons) about Mr. Man’s travels so I demanded for him to call me when he got in. I don’t know when Mr. Man and I will get the chance to spend as much quality time together as we have the past few days, and will spend in the next few days, but lately I’ve noticed we’ve been extremely close. I can’t say there has been a time when we’ve been distant per se (I know I have been pretty distant anytime there has been a pregnancy scare- but that has been more about me and less about him than anything) and I don’t mind the closeness. On Saturday before our Bible Study lesson he told me that he missed me even though he had only seen me just a few hours ago, which I thought was pretty sentimental.
So, we keep the Sabbath and one of the things about the Sabbath is the whole “avoiding polluting the Sabbath.” You’re supposed to be as chill as possible, give praise to God, reflect on all the wonders he puts into motion. But this particular Sabbath we found ourselves fighting back the urge to have lots and lots of sex. It would start innocently enough – I would kiss him on the cheek for making my salad just how I like it – and he would turn his head so he could get kissed on the lips. And then…I’m on my back, lol. It was like – hey – we’ve got 6 more hours slim – simmer down, lol. I don’t really know how we managed to get through those hours but we did. An interesting topic came up though – I don’t know about Mr. Man’s biological clock sometimes, lol. Now – granted, I go through periods of time when I want kids, not in the future, but right this second. They’re so cute, cuddly, warm, and smell good, lol. I mean…babies smell wonderful!! Luckily though, when I feel like this I just go to work, make googily eyes at the beautiful babies that come in, and keep it moving. Mr. Man went on record on Saturday and blatantly stated that he cannot wait for us to make the conscious decision to have children. I looked at him – thought to myself if he said what I thought he said before asking “huh” and the way he was looking down at me let me know he did say what I thought he said. It was an interesting conversation that followed – we wondered if it would be easy for us to conceive, how many children we want, how long before we have children – all of that good stuff. Above everything else it made me extremely confident in the direction we were headed together. To know that we’re on the same page even when it comes to having children is a pretty good deal. It’s so much better to have the conversation prior to being with child, lol. I know that oftentimes women get competitive – if there is another child in the picture. “Well my child will be better than her’s.” I’ve seen too many women get caught up in some crazy logic when it comes to parenthood. I’m in no rush to have Mr. Man’s child just to be on the same level as I.G. (Ignorant Girlie AKA his daughter’s mother). It isn’t necessary. We’re in an excellent place to move forward on our own little path no matter what anyone thinks or says.
This is absolutely long enough so I’ll cut this here. Peace!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Ephiphany
1. I have been downloading some music lately. Imagine my surprise when I found that Chrisette Michele's latest album Epiphany was available on Amazon for the low low price of $2.99!! *Fan girl squeal* Ahem, of course I bought it. Mr. Man had given me an American Express Gift Card, and I didn't know where to use it at, since everywhere doesn't use American Express. So, I stocked up on some new music for my MP3 player.
I try to buy music whenever possible, and Amazon usually has decent prices for new releases. I always felt like if I was a musician, I'd want people to buy my music. I feel that way about Mr. Man's music, I'd want people to support him.
I don't really feel as compelled to purchase movies or go to the movies though. :/ Pretty darn unrevolutionary huh? Yeah, I bootleg or watch them online. I guess actors get paid when they sign on regardless. I don't know. I really should not do the bootleg movie thing either, but I'm not that big of a movie watcher either, so maybe that's the other reason I don't have that twinge of guilt whenever I do. Redbox is a godsend though - you can't go wrong with renting movies for a buck! If it sucks, it's like - who cares? It's only a dollar!
2. Anyway, I have been very anti-Twitter up to this point..but I'm getting pressure from most of my friends to join. The last thing I really need is yet another reason to shit away time. :/ The jury is still out on whether I will join or not.
3. Graduation has come and gone. Praise God. I'm proud of the students. It was a large graduating class. There were minor dramas (I'm sure they will be rehashed all day tomorrow) but for the most part, the graduation was nice. As I had to remind myself and others; it's about the students. People don't really realize how much it means to these people to attend graduation, but it is a big deal and a humbling experience. It made me feel really really good. It reminded me of why I love education so much. :) I've been picking up articles here and there and determining the kind of school I want to open, when I'll open it, etc. I can't wait to start working on my licensing.
4. I miss Xanga from time to time. Mostly when I want to put happy faces in my blog entries.
5. Home's been rather okay. There are minor battles every now and again, but I'm pretty much over it. All of it. I can't change the way anyone thinks about anything. I sure don't want anybody to try to change the way I think about anything. So my new motto is "Live and let live" unless I'm personally asked about something. Speaking of - my brother was laid off from his job. So two people out of four are unemployed. It's going to be a long summer. :/
6. Mr. Man starts training for his new job (drum roll please) tomorrow! :) I'm happy; I'm not going to lie. A little bit of a silver lining to this cloud called life. The past few months haven't been super difficult, but I'm definitely ready to start planning things that need money from the both of us. Namely - buying a car, and setting aside money to move. Plan a vacation to Aruba. And get married at some point, lol.
6a. I'm not sure when it happened but I'm pretty much over my mid-mid-life crisis I was having (internally) of course. Sometimes, listening to other people will get you in trouble. And I realized that it's not that many people I can count on for sound counsel. Is it nice to have friends to kick it with? Sure. But, I also know that everyone doesn't have the same values I have so how can I expect them to relate to me and assist me with my issues? It's not a good idea.
I try to buy music whenever possible, and Amazon usually has decent prices for new releases. I always felt like if I was a musician, I'd want people to buy my music. I feel that way about Mr. Man's music, I'd want people to support him.
I don't really feel as compelled to purchase movies or go to the movies though. :/ Pretty darn unrevolutionary huh? Yeah, I bootleg or watch them online. I guess actors get paid when they sign on regardless. I don't know. I really should not do the bootleg movie thing either, but I'm not that big of a movie watcher either, so maybe that's the other reason I don't have that twinge of guilt whenever I do. Redbox is a godsend though - you can't go wrong with renting movies for a buck! If it sucks, it's like - who cares? It's only a dollar!
2. Anyway, I have been very anti-Twitter up to this point..but I'm getting pressure from most of my friends to join. The last thing I really need is yet another reason to shit away time. :/ The jury is still out on whether I will join or not.
3. Graduation has come and gone. Praise God. I'm proud of the students. It was a large graduating class. There were minor dramas (I'm sure they will be rehashed all day tomorrow) but for the most part, the graduation was nice. As I had to remind myself and others; it's about the students. People don't really realize how much it means to these people to attend graduation, but it is a big deal and a humbling experience. It made me feel really really good. It reminded me of why I love education so much. :) I've been picking up articles here and there and determining the kind of school I want to open, when I'll open it, etc. I can't wait to start working on my licensing.
4. I miss Xanga from time to time. Mostly when I want to put happy faces in my blog entries.
5. Home's been rather okay. There are minor battles every now and again, but I'm pretty much over it. All of it. I can't change the way anyone thinks about anything. I sure don't want anybody to try to change the way I think about anything. So my new motto is "Live and let live" unless I'm personally asked about something. Speaking of - my brother was laid off from his job. So two people out of four are unemployed. It's going to be a long summer. :/
6. Mr. Man starts training for his new job (drum roll please) tomorrow! :) I'm happy; I'm not going to lie. A little bit of a silver lining to this cloud called life. The past few months haven't been super difficult, but I'm definitely ready to start planning things that need money from the both of us. Namely - buying a car, and setting aside money to move. Plan a vacation to Aruba. And get married at some point, lol.
6a. I'm not sure when it happened but I'm pretty much over my mid-mid-life crisis I was having (internally) of course. Sometimes, listening to other people will get you in trouble. And I realized that it's not that many people I can count on for sound counsel. Is it nice to have friends to kick it with? Sure. But, I also know that everyone doesn't have the same values I have so how can I expect them to relate to me and assist me with my issues? It's not a good idea.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
I Want It That Way
Erika - I wonder how you date females because most of them I don't even like enough to have around often enough as friends, lol.
Case in point: my friend from high school's birthday is today (or the 11th) I'm not quite sure. She asked me to go to her party today. My first response is "Not a great idea- because I do keep the Sabbath." I have to do a better job of not polluting the Sabbath; last week me and Mr. Man bought something. I was like "Dude - today's the Sabbath: no buying, selling, and cooking." He looked at me like "Even online shopping?" LOL. Yes, even online, I'm pretty sure, lol. I told him that I really think I'll feel less likely to pollute (buy, sell, cook, have sex, lol) if I'm in church where I belong. We had a philosophical argument about how a person shouldn't take a job if it interferes with the Sabbath. He (being unemployed) said that a person should challenge it. I kept trying to get him to see that was dishonest. Eventually (the next day) he said I was right. I already knew that though. Anyway, this was a mighty long sidebar to say, my Saturdays are devoted towards keeping the Lord's rest as best as possible. So I initially said to her that I wouldn't make the party, but I'd go earlier - but yesterday, I told her that might not be possible. I didn't know if I'd make the 11:00AM or 1:30PM at church. The first session - I don't know why, but one of the brother's sessions (they both typically run 3 hours) seems shorter. I was going to try to make the early session go to her house, then go to my house. I woke up late today. Obviously, I have to make the later session which drraagggsssss. At any rate, I was still going to try to make it to her home, to at least see her - even though I have zero interest in going to the party (I don't know her friends and I'm not incredibly great at co-mingling if not absolutely necessary). I have been texting her and calling her ( I just myspaced her) and she hasn't replied to any of it. OH WELL. You're turning 25. No time for throwing fits over something like this! I never said I didn't want to see her, I just admitted I would have to fit it in my schedule. I might not have a life where I go out wildin' every damn night but that also doesn't mean I don't have things that I consider priorities. The Lord, my family, Mr. Man and work are priorities. That's just it. I don't know how I can explain that to people. Obviously my close friends are included when I say "family" but - I have to be met halfway.
I just received a text. Lol. Now she confirms her address!
See - can't stand females, Erika!!
Case in point: my friend from high school's birthday is today (or the 11th) I'm not quite sure. She asked me to go to her party today. My first response is "Not a great idea- because I do keep the Sabbath." I have to do a better job of not polluting the Sabbath; last week me and Mr. Man bought something. I was like "Dude - today's the Sabbath: no buying, selling, and cooking." He looked at me like "Even online shopping?" LOL. Yes, even online, I'm pretty sure, lol. I told him that I really think I'll feel less likely to pollute (buy, sell, cook, have sex, lol) if I'm in church where I belong. We had a philosophical argument about how a person shouldn't take a job if it interferes with the Sabbath. He (being unemployed) said that a person should challenge it. I kept trying to get him to see that was dishonest. Eventually (the next day) he said I was right. I already knew that though. Anyway, this was a mighty long sidebar to say, my Saturdays are devoted towards keeping the Lord's rest as best as possible. So I initially said to her that I wouldn't make the party, but I'd go earlier - but yesterday, I told her that might not be possible. I didn't know if I'd make the 11:00AM or 1:30PM at church. The first session - I don't know why, but one of the brother's sessions (they both typically run 3 hours) seems shorter. I was going to try to make the early session go to her house, then go to my house. I woke up late today. Obviously, I have to make the later session which drraagggsssss. At any rate, I was still going to try to make it to her home, to at least see her - even though I have zero interest in going to the party (I don't know her friends and I'm not incredibly great at co-mingling if not absolutely necessary). I have been texting her and calling her ( I just myspaced her) and she hasn't replied to any of it. OH WELL. You're turning 25. No time for throwing fits over something like this! I never said I didn't want to see her, I just admitted I would have to fit it in my schedule. I might not have a life where I go out wildin' every damn night but that also doesn't mean I don't have things that I consider priorities. The Lord, my family, Mr. Man and work are priorities. That's just it. I don't know how I can explain that to people. Obviously my close friends are included when I say "family" but - I have to be met halfway.
I just received a text. Lol. Now she confirms her address!
See - can't stand females, Erika!!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Let's Keep Gettin' It On
I haven't blogged in a few days.
Lo siento.
Yesterday was Cinco de Mayo. I had chicken tacos. Yum.
Life has been pretty good.
I'm learning how to balance life, and love and I'm finding that it can be difficult. But when it's good - oh man it is really good.
I am super proud of myself at work. This is my first year being responsible for all of the background work around graduation. We're graduating a big class too. Its almost 300 students. Yesterday was the rehearsal and there was standing room only! I didn't anticipate that many students. I'm so proud, because most of the students I've known and they've finally made it. I could hardly contain myself standing alongside my boss at the rehearsal. One disabled student is graduating this year too, and this is my first time seeing that out of the 7 years I've worked there. They had to order a ramp and everything. I'm pretty sure he will recieve a standing ovation next week and he should. I used to tutor him! And now he is graduating and will start DePaul in the fall with a major in Public Policy. My friend Elia (who also is in a wheelchair) just finished her undergrad there. And it all started when I told her that she COULD go to school. I feel so good about that. Helping people to believe in themselves when noone else does? That's completely why I can't wait to be in the classroom. 30 or more sets of eyes, bodies, minds, and souls connected to me and all I have to give this world.
I was anticipating starting my MAT classes this summer...but, that is a dream deferred. I still owe $1,700 and I cannot register until that debt is paid off. What I have decided to do is take a class at the college I work at to defer my loans until I start school in the fall.
Emotionally, I've been going up and down. I wanted to blame it on PMS, but alas, my friend has not come to visit me yet. Whoops. That's so sad that I'm a woman, yet even I succumb to the stereotypes and blame my moodiness on my period. I hate when men do it, but here I am doing the same thing. Why make excuses for it? I have down moods, and I have up moods. Even after Mr. Man was trying his hand at the romantic thang (my co-workers are still talking about that one - trying to divorce husbands and what not) I was still quite down, and just so up in the air on things. I know that is so unlike me, and even worse, something that Mr. Man never expected. But, I had to look at my diary from last year, as well as some of the emails we sent each other - he was doing the same thing to me last year!! We were together, sureeeeeeeee - but there was a month and a half during our year where I was kind of vibing on my own. I didn't see him because he was sick one weekend, he had his daughter another weekend - just a whole lot of free time. He said "I love you" - I said "I love you" but had an inkling that he didn't really mean it. I was right, lol. Even then I knew him. It was an awkward situation - we had love for each other, and I was in love with him, but he wasn't really sure what love was and if he shared that feeling for me. Initially, I was upset. Chris talked me through that month. He was actually on his side (that's a wingman for you if I've ever known one) - he begged me to not turn off that Renee side too quickly. (FYI - Renee is the passionate and free side of me) One time I just told Mr. Man that he needed to make his presence available and talk to me one on one. I was prepared to work with him - but relationship? Nah. So, he came over to my house, watched some movies, listened to his CD the whole way through for the first time. It was so much fun. And then we were talking. It was late, and the only light on was the light in my bedroom from my laptop. I had turned on some music, just because it was too quiet. He asked me what I was doing the next day (it was a Sunday) and I told him it was my girl's son's baptism and stuff. I didn't really finish the answer because the next thing I knew his face was all next to mine and he kissed me right above my mouth. I told him that he wasn't paying attention at all to what I was saying and didn't even have the RIGHT to kiss me there because that's what boyfriends do. And HE replied "I'm not your boyfriend - I'm your man." Womp womp womp - naturally after that it was on and poppin' (well not really, because we didn't hook up for some time after that) but we were pretty much like two peas and a pod - schoolkids who got sick from not being together enough. But I always thought on that month - and wondered how he could be lukewarm about getting involved with ME?! But, understanding the feelings I was dealing with, I get it. I got those feelings after being in deep for a year and some months, and I guess it's different because I had/have different things to consider than he did. I lost a parent, and that weighs on me and everything I do even more than having him a sick parent. I have a family I have to contend with and a career that I'm trying to put together. I always come back to the same conclusion though - I'd rather do all those things with him, than not.
I've been thinking that I don't have to rush and have children because when we get married, I'm going to be an instant step mom, lol. Crazy thought right there. Anyway, one thing that Mr. Man and I have reached a conclusion on is dating each other - not just hanging out. There is zero anticipation, and truly I was getting bored. I mean I like being with him because it's fun and a hideaway from the rest of the world, but come on - I need more than a movie now and again. He understood what I meant (somehow when I was telling him he needs to woo - he didn't understand it) but when I told him that we should plan dates alternate weeks so its not just one person always doing the planning. He agreed. So Sunday was his turn - we went to Mickey D's which was actually really romantic because it was all quiet and the food was good and we were feeding each other our sundae, lol. It was pretty sicknening. Then we walked to the beach from his house and had fun just exploring the neighborhood and stuff.
I also came to the conclusion that moving needs to be a priority. I've just reached the point where I feel like I need to prove to my mom I can run my life. She's taught me all there is and now I need to apply it and show her "hey I was paying attention Mom. I can do this."
I know where I want to live - so it's just a matter of getting in where I fit in. It's a first apartment so I don't need glamour (well I consider glamour stainless steel appliances lol)- just a space I can call my own for a year or so. I'm going to call the leasing agent to see what the availability is for a 2 br apartment. If I play my cards right - I'm right there by downtown, but still on the west side: best of both worlds to me.
Lo siento.
Yesterday was Cinco de Mayo. I had chicken tacos. Yum.
Life has been pretty good.
I'm learning how to balance life, and love and I'm finding that it can be difficult. But when it's good - oh man it is really good.
I am super proud of myself at work. This is my first year being responsible for all of the background work around graduation. We're graduating a big class too. Its almost 300 students. Yesterday was the rehearsal and there was standing room only! I didn't anticipate that many students. I'm so proud, because most of the students I've known and they've finally made it. I could hardly contain myself standing alongside my boss at the rehearsal. One disabled student is graduating this year too, and this is my first time seeing that out of the 7 years I've worked there. They had to order a ramp and everything. I'm pretty sure he will recieve a standing ovation next week and he should. I used to tutor him! And now he is graduating and will start DePaul in the fall with a major in Public Policy. My friend Elia (who also is in a wheelchair) just finished her undergrad there. And it all started when I told her that she COULD go to school. I feel so good about that. Helping people to believe in themselves when noone else does? That's completely why I can't wait to be in the classroom. 30 or more sets of eyes, bodies, minds, and souls connected to me and all I have to give this world.
I was anticipating starting my MAT classes this summer...but, that is a dream deferred. I still owe $1,700 and I cannot register until that debt is paid off. What I have decided to do is take a class at the college I work at to defer my loans until I start school in the fall.
Emotionally, I've been going up and down. I wanted to blame it on PMS, but alas, my friend has not come to visit me yet. Whoops. That's so sad that I'm a woman, yet even I succumb to the stereotypes and blame my moodiness on my period. I hate when men do it, but here I am doing the same thing. Why make excuses for it? I have down moods, and I have up moods. Even after Mr. Man was trying his hand at the romantic thang (my co-workers are still talking about that one - trying to divorce husbands and what not) I was still quite down, and just so up in the air on things. I know that is so unlike me, and even worse, something that Mr. Man never expected. But, I had to look at my diary from last year, as well as some of the emails we sent each other - he was doing the same thing to me last year!! We were together, sureeeeeeeee - but there was a month and a half during our year where I was kind of vibing on my own. I didn't see him because he was sick one weekend, he had his daughter another weekend - just a whole lot of free time. He said "I love you" - I said "I love you" but had an inkling that he didn't really mean it. I was right, lol. Even then I knew him. It was an awkward situation - we had love for each other, and I was in love with him, but he wasn't really sure what love was and if he shared that feeling for me. Initially, I was upset. Chris talked me through that month. He was actually on his side (that's a wingman for you if I've ever known one) - he begged me to not turn off that Renee side too quickly. (FYI - Renee is the passionate and free side of me) One time I just told Mr. Man that he needed to make his presence available and talk to me one on one. I was prepared to work with him - but relationship? Nah. So, he came over to my house, watched some movies, listened to his CD the whole way through for the first time. It was so much fun. And then we were talking. It was late, and the only light on was the light in my bedroom from my laptop. I had turned on some music, just because it was too quiet. He asked me what I was doing the next day (it was a Sunday) and I told him it was my girl's son's baptism and stuff. I didn't really finish the answer because the next thing I knew his face was all next to mine and he kissed me right above my mouth. I told him that he wasn't paying attention at all to what I was saying and didn't even have the RIGHT to kiss me there because that's what boyfriends do. And HE replied "I'm not your boyfriend - I'm your man." Womp womp womp - naturally after that it was on and poppin' (well not really, because we didn't hook up for some time after that) but we were pretty much like two peas and a pod - schoolkids who got sick from not being together enough. But I always thought on that month - and wondered how he could be lukewarm about getting involved with ME?! But, understanding the feelings I was dealing with, I get it. I got those feelings after being in deep for a year and some months, and I guess it's different because I had/have different things to consider than he did. I lost a parent, and that weighs on me and everything I do even more than having him a sick parent. I have a family I have to contend with and a career that I'm trying to put together. I always come back to the same conclusion though - I'd rather do all those things with him, than not.
I've been thinking that I don't have to rush and have children because when we get married, I'm going to be an instant step mom, lol. Crazy thought right there. Anyway, one thing that Mr. Man and I have reached a conclusion on is dating each other - not just hanging out. There is zero anticipation, and truly I was getting bored. I mean I like being with him because it's fun and a hideaway from the rest of the world, but come on - I need more than a movie now and again. He understood what I meant (somehow when I was telling him he needs to woo - he didn't understand it) but when I told him that we should plan dates alternate weeks so its not just one person always doing the planning. He agreed. So Sunday was his turn - we went to Mickey D's which was actually really romantic because it was all quiet and the food was good and we were feeding each other our sundae, lol. It was pretty sicknening. Then we walked to the beach from his house and had fun just exploring the neighborhood and stuff.
I also came to the conclusion that moving needs to be a priority. I've just reached the point where I feel like I need to prove to my mom I can run my life. She's taught me all there is and now I need to apply it and show her "hey I was paying attention Mom. I can do this."
I know where I want to live - so it's just a matter of getting in where I fit in. It's a first apartment so I don't need glamour (well I consider glamour stainless steel appliances lol)- just a space I can call my own for a year or so. I'm going to call the leasing agent to see what the availability is for a 2 br apartment. If I play my cards right - I'm right there by downtown, but still on the west side: best of both worlds to me.
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