We're Just Ordinary People

It’s a little past 9:30 AM on Memorial Day. The official fourth day of my stay-cation. It’s not nearly as warm outside as I would prefer it to be, but I’ll live. I just want the sun to try and come up out of the clouds temporarily.

This past weekend has been pretty nice. Friday I had lunch with Elia which was nice. We went downtown to this little restaurant not too far from the library and school and ate on the roof. She loved it. I think back to the times when I first met Elia and she was even more sheltered than I was. Her sheltered life was a result of her disability though. Elia actually wasn’t born sick. She was stricken with a very bad case of arthritis when she was a teenager. She never got to experience high school the way typical teenagers experience it because she was in and out of the hospital. No proms, no typical high school shenanigans. I don’t know if it’s because her family feared for her overall safety, or because she didn’t desire to explore her surroundings, but there is so much in Chicago that Elia hasn’t done yet. I never will forget the first year we went to the Taste of Chicago. She told me that her boyfriend at the time said it wasn’t accessible for people like her. Since I’ve met her there have been so many firsts, and I’m glad to say I was there to witness them with her. Eating downtown at the rooftop pub was absolutely no different. She said it reminded her of The Hills. The food was good; they had very little food that had turkey in it though. Well actually, they offered it on the menu – they just didn’t have any more left. We asked for turkey meatballs – they were out, lol. Then we asked for turkey bacon for our turkey burgers – they were out of that also, lol. We made the best of it though, as we always do. Elia is one of the people I frequently disagree with – on a variety of things, but, she lets me disagree with her. Most people really believe that you can’t be friends with a person unless you like all the same things and agree on everything. I just look at them like they’re crazy. This world is all about give and take, but even more importantly this world is about the freedom to choose. After lunch with Elia I went to get my eyebrows arched. The lady did an alright job – I kind of thought she could have done better though. They aren’t horrible but they don’t seem as precise as when the other older lady does them. She wasn’t there on Friday. When she does them she whips out the scissors and the tweezers and the wax, lol. But when she’s done –ooh wee, they look super sharp. This time, eh, not so much, lol. I gave her $2 (instead of $5) tip and kept it moving. The owner asked if I wanted a manicure/pedicure and although everything inside me was screaming “YES – girl get ya’ toes done too!” I declined. I had convinced myself I could do my own toes – and saving the money from the pedicure means an extra meal I can afford on my stay-cation.

As I was determining whether or not to go home or to Mr. Man’s house, Mr. Man called me from his sister’s house, and I decided to go to his house. I had already bought snacks because I was going to go home to watch a movie. He picked me up from the train station in his dad’s BMW. (This is significant, because this comes back up later.) We went to rent Valkyrie (yet another Tom Cruise movie, lol) and surprisingly it was pretty good. It was difficult to watch it with his nephews running around – and sometimes being around them makes me so grateful I don’t have children, lol. Why are other people’s children sometimes the best form of birth control, lol? They aren’t bad kids - just extremely active. And I have peeped the situation – it’s the younger one that gets things crackin’. Anyway, the night was over – he dropped his nephews and mom off at the Greyhound station and we took his sister home. We finished Valkyrie and were hungry again. As we were pulling out of his sister’s parking lot, we pull to the side of the street. An unmarked police car pulls up – and we think that it wants to get past so that’s why we pull over. Uh uh. This car stops dead in front of us and two plainclothes cops get out of the car. The blue lights are bright and I’m wondering what this stop could really be about. I look at the time – a little past 9PM. I look around us, and there aren’t that many people out and about (for a Friday night in the hood – it’s quiet.) I look over at Mr. Man who hasn’t said anything about anything. One of the cops were Hispanic. He was the one doing most of the talking. The Black cop was working the walkie talkie and stayed by the car. The Hispanic asked where we were coming from and where we were headed. I could tell Mr. Man was annoyed when he did speak. Mr. Man told him we were leaving his mom’s house and he was taking his fiancé home. The Hispanic asked who lived in the house we just left. Mr. Man looked at him with a cocked eyebrow and responded “MY MOTHER.” The Black cop motioned for the Hispanic cop to come back to the car and just like that they were gone. Mr. Man drove for a while before pulling into another apartment complex’s parking lot. He responded before I could ask - “I just need a moment.” Before that whole situation, we were talking about what to get to eat and I tried to get the conversation back to that point. We decided to get something closer to my house to avoid any possible other confrontations. Eventually he started acting like his regular self. I didn’t like the situation one bit. I don’t know how White people feel when they are approached by a cop but I know for Black people it’s not a welcoming or comforting situation to be in. The cops are supposed to serve and protect but usually if you’re Black (innocent or criminal – it doesn’t matter because all Blacks are the same and they are always doing something contrary to the law at all times) the cops only serve their own interests and protect the state. I wondered if it was because he was in his dad’s BMW that he got stopped. That wasn’t it. They were looking for some Black person and most likely stopped a dozen Black males on their way to finding who they were looking for. We ended up going to the grocery store and getting food. Then we came back to my place briefly so I could fix his plate and he could be on his way to his dad’s place.

I was pretty worried (for obvious reasons) about Mr. Man’s travels so I demanded for him to call me when he got in. I don’t know when Mr. Man and I will get the chance to spend as much quality time together as we have the past few days, and will spend in the next few days, but lately I’ve noticed we’ve been extremely close. I can’t say there has been a time when we’ve been distant per se (I know I have been pretty distant anytime there has been a pregnancy scare- but that has been more about me and less about him than anything) and I don’t mind the closeness. On Saturday before our Bible Study lesson he told me that he missed me even though he had only seen me just a few hours ago, which I thought was pretty sentimental.

So, we keep the Sabbath and one of the things about the Sabbath is the whole “avoiding polluting the Sabbath.” You’re supposed to be as chill as possible, give praise to God, reflect on all the wonders he puts into motion. But this particular Sabbath we found ourselves fighting back the urge to have lots and lots of sex. It would start innocently enough – I would kiss him on the cheek for making my salad just how I like it – and he would turn his head so he could get kissed on the lips. And then…I’m on my back, lol. It was like – hey – we’ve got 6 more hours slim – simmer down, lol. I don’t really know how we managed to get through those hours but we did. An interesting topic came up though – I don’t know about Mr. Man’s biological clock sometimes, lol. Now – granted, I go through periods of time when I want kids, not in the future, but right this second. They’re so cute, cuddly, warm, and smell good, lol. I mean…babies smell wonderful!! Luckily though, when I feel like this I just go to work, make googily eyes at the beautiful babies that come in, and keep it moving. Mr. Man went on record on Saturday and blatantly stated that he cannot wait for us to make the conscious decision to have children. I looked at him – thought to myself if he said what I thought he said before asking “huh” and the way he was looking down at me let me know he did say what I thought he said. It was an interesting conversation that followed – we wondered if it would be easy for us to conceive, how many children we want, how long before we have children – all of that good stuff. Above everything else it made me extremely confident in the direction we were headed together. To know that we’re on the same page even when it comes to having children is a pretty good deal. It’s so much better to have the conversation prior to being with child, lol. I know that oftentimes women get competitive – if there is another child in the picture. “Well my child will be better than her’s.” I’ve seen too many women get caught up in some crazy logic when it comes to parenthood. I’m in no rush to have Mr. Man’s child just to be on the same level as I.G. (Ignorant Girlie AKA his daughter’s mother). It isn’t necessary. We’re in an excellent place to move forward on our own little path no matter what anyone thinks or says.

This is absolutely long enough so I’ll cut this here. Peace!