Lemme Get Some Brain

My cell phone rings this mornnig, around seven fifteen.

I know the ringtone and smile.

"Goodmorning my King."

He clears his throat. He does that so I won't call him Weezy Jefferson. It's not my fault that's who he sounds like in the morning. "Goodmorning my Queen. How are you feeling this morning?" I reassure him the absolute worst of my period is behind me and that I feel supremely better hearing him baby me over the phone. When we first started dating he would call me Princess, until recognizing that actually his daughter is his Princess, and following along the lines of royalty that would make me Queen. And that is how he generally introduces me to his people or refers to me in converstaion.

He has today off from his soon to be extinct 9 to 5. We talk about contraception in relation to my period. I tell him I am dreading getting on the pill. I am dreading it. I am by no means am person who typically indulges in taking OTC medication. I try to be as natural as possible. I follow in the footseps of the way my parents raised me. Most households have rubbing alcohol for most ailments. I have apple cider vinegar, lol.

"What about plan A?"Again with your absti-no-sex remedy. We've tried this. It doesn't work for either of us. It's worked for at most - four days. It might have been shorter than that. We're not sex-a-holics people. On the contrary. Although, I'm pretty sure if given the opportunity we probably could be. But even in the beginning when we weren't having sex we were pretty much having sex. We were only saying we weren't as a means to preserve my sensitive psyche in relation to maintaining my virginity. He knew how important it was (for the both of us) so even though we weren't having sex, we were having sex.

I still love him dearly for that.

I told him that we could talk about his Plan A though, seeing as how pregnancy was no longer a factor. I asked what would we do then? He said we could indulge in "mind sex."

What's mind sex?
"You could massage my forehead."

I
Just
About
Died
Laughing!

I told him that was a serious departure from the typical male sentiment of "If she not gon' gimme some ass, lemme get some brain!" We still are pretty inconclusive about Plan A. I'm not going to lie. I'm the deciding factor. I know it too. I would miss being intimate with him. Not even necessarily the orgasmic aspect of it either. We talked about that too, because not too long ago, he asked while on top of me and he had obviously came -

"Did you come?"
No, I didn't.
"Were you close?"
Not even a little, lol.

He looked disappointed. And I hated that look. But I know I wasn't supposed to lie. I did explain to him (as I usually do) that I don't know what he thinks or knows about female sexuality. But coming, is not something I'm necessarily interested in every time we get together. I like us hanging around naked together. It's comforting in a way that I am not sure I can really explain. But he got where I was going with that and seemed okay. I resolved early on that it wasn't practical to expect to come each and everytime; especially going in knowing that isn't my sole objective. I think this is a healthier perspective because he won't feel like he's letting me down, and I won't feel like I'm being cheated out of something. I think we both deserve gold stars for just having the maturity to discuss things like this. Go us, lol.

I ask him what he plans to do with is day off.

"Work."

This is probably the reason why we mesh together so well. I can always count on him to be working on something involving the betterment of Black people. Whether it's studying ideologies, alternative movements, or his music, there is very rarely a moment when he isn't working. He's easily one of the smartest men I have had the pleasure of knowing in my entire lifetime. He works so much and is so dedicated to Black liberation, people at his job constantly ask him if he talks politics and "Black stuff"before sex. He responds -

"Actually, before. After. And during."

Of course there is some truth to that statement. That's the side of the relationship that people actually are really unaware of. I mean sure, we're caught up in each other. This much is unquestionable. But above our commitment to each other there's a call to service to commit ourselves and our talents towards bringing the people - Black people- a hell of a lot closer to the light. Things are getting worse. We live in a society where our President keeps saying that race doesn't matter. But everyday we are reminded that this is an ideal, not yet a fact. I wish that race didn't matter. But by saying it doesn't matter, we haven't automatically rid this nation of the ills that have plagued it since before its inception. It doesn't eradicate the wage gap and the education gap. It doesn't eradicate the military and prison industrial complex that exists to detain minorities. It doesn't eradicate police brutality. It just lulls the masses into a false sense of security. "Yes we can, we did." Now what? I just went on the way other side but, people need to and SHOULD question the conditions of your existence. I realize it is severely unrealistic to call people to just up and quit jobs and join up with the movement. BUT, we can all challenge each other to different levels of consciousness and awareness, thereby forcing the institutions that exist to deter the people lessen their grip finger by finger. I understand that revoltuion is imagined to be a short, quick, unreasonable push. Over before it starts so to speak. But I believe to sustain a movement for the people, by the people, we have to be prepared to steadily gain momentum, first by winning the minds and hearts of the people.