Flashback Friday - Hot Like Fire

The year was 1997. And R & B was THE BEST, with artists like Aaliyah, Ginuwine, beatmaker Timbaland, and Missy for added star power. Aaliyah was a girl with around the way appeal to both men and women. Sophisticated, mature lyrics over the right beat provided timeless music. Of course the drama that shrouded this young woman behind the shades (marriage to R. Kelly at the tender age of 17??)was enough to discount her musical prowess. Aaliyah was stronger than that, and soon showed the world that she was. I loved this song back then. I was a tween just beginning to ponder about love, imagine about my first kiss, and whom I might share it with (at that time, I was deeply in love with Anton Davis and Romero Holloman - either of them I wouldn't have minded being my first kiss, especially Romero!)

I get nostalgic sometimes y'all. Shit, ten years ago, I was a woman (biologically, lol) and I depended on my parents to provide. My dad was alive ten years ago, and it makes me thing had I known when he would die, maybe I would have clinged to him more than I already did. I always knew how important it was that not only I had a dad, but that he was active and around every day. I never had to wonder about that, and I thank my parents for that. Building a union like that isn't easy. I have realized that there is some truth to what the therapists say about women that have a father around, and women that don't; and how they subconsciously (or sometimes even consciously) relate that to their dating lives. I think that's why I really look some females upside the head for the ridiculousness they allow in so intimate an area of their life.

I'm so geometrical. That was a big long tangent, lol.

Mr. Man had a great birthdaversary. It was a week ago. I don't have much to say about it, except there were moments I wanted to choke the hell out of him. He was just so...well to me it appeared to be ungrateful. I suppose to him he was being his consistent self. I do things big, he does things small. We're different in that. We most likely always will be. He complained about the restaurant being full of white people (it was an Italian restaurant!) Then he complained about the prices of the food (which he wasn't paying for!) My whole thing is, you miss the bigger point of why I brought you here when we live in fucking Chicago and there is at least 5 restaurants on ONE block. I brought you here because YOU love salmon, and this place has the BEST salmon this city has to offer. Sigh. He did get it at one point, but it took him some time. We went to the Drake Hotel for the night, and it was nice, but that was something I paid for. I'm not complaining about paying, because I feel like if I wanted the shit done a certain way I'd do it myself. But I did get hurt because it was like...do I get a card? I don't need much, and I had already prepared myself for how I might be going way overboard for no real good reason. Truly, I'm just glad we got to spend time together, and cuddle, and be intimate and just relax for once. But on the other hand, sometimes (not often) I catch feelings that when it comes to the little random acts of kindness thing, I'm not matched in my efforts. Then, I scolded myself because deep down I know his money is funny since he's officially not working, but at the same time, I work and my money is funny and I just prioritized to make sure things were cool for his special day. I don't know. Maybe we'll always be different in that area. We're not arguing, because for one - I haven't determined if this is worthy of bringing up. I feel like for the most part we agree on all things important in our relationship.

On top of that, right now I'm not feeling super pretty. I'm my period, my face has too many bumps on it and I'm not digging it. I know I am pretty- have you guys seen me? I know I'm not "skinny" but I'm pretty hot, lol. But, right now my hair is straw set. You all know it's Natural. I got it straw set as opposed to micro braids because I have to be in a mind set to sit in a chair for 8 hours getting my hair done and then spending close to 200 dollars to have it done. Again, I said "Mr. Man isn't working and he may need some help making it. I'm not going to spend my money like this." So I didn't. When I see him, he was like "Oh, you look nice - what happened with the micros?" I told him "I just didn't feel like sitting." Do you know we had a hair discussion for like two hours? I was laying on my side that Saturday and I told him he'd be figuring me out for the rest of his life. He asked what that meant. Then I told him why I forfeited getting my hair done. If it comes down to him being in the studio and wrapping the album - or my getting my hair done, I opt for the record to get finished. I told him, that I'd always go without so he can have what he needs. Of course by this point I'm practically in tears because that's something I shouldn't have to say. I treat everyone like that, so it's not like he's the sole benefactor of that by being my man - he just tends to be in the top of the list of priorities. Anyhow, this straw set is almost a week old, and despite my efforts to keep it looking fresh, I haven't washed it out yet because I didn't want to give up on it, lol. Truly, I'm trippin, because I know it looks better but I don't feel like it so I want it gone.

I just think one of the worst things in the world is for a person (male or female) to feel as if they are unappreciated. That is so emotionally stressing.

Briefly, work is great. I'm leading my team in getting commencement underway. It is nice to be going in a positive direction where you will shortly see it all come together. It's my first time doing it and I'm pumped.

Family is fine, my brother got a raise (still hates his job, lol - but he DOES have one), my other brother applied for unemployment, and my mom has been unannoying to me pretty much since I got home from the hospital last week from my GERD episode.

I'm going shopping today. Recession, schmecession. I got money in the bank, and I'm spending some of it on myself without feeling guilty. Peace!