Love Is My Religion

I gotta say, having my old laptop (and all my music) has provided me with a happiness that I can't describe. You would think that since Mr. Man makes music he would understand why I love music and crave it the way that I do. I can do without movies and television as long as I have music.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. It is my yearly physical. I am not looking forward to it in the least. Well, I'm looking forward to seeing my doctor. She is a short, round, younger Asian lady. She's a sweetie. I tell her what's been going on in my life with relative openness and honesty. She gives me the lowdown without being judgemental or anything. I appreciate that so much. Nevertheless, I have been prepping for this appointment like a date. LOL. Yes I am one of those people. Best undies & shave-o-rama. No way will my body parts or underwear selection be the lunch topic of the day. And for those of you who don't think that really happens, it does. We do it at my job and we just work at a school.

My semi-New Year's plans that I had have faded away into nothingness, lol. I don't really celebrate per se, but I did want to invite a few friends over. Nothing too big. But the more and more I thought about it, the more I thought about how I couldn't do too much. Perhaps next year, when I live in my own dwelling I will be more open to it, but this year there would be too much to consider, in regards to sleep arrangements, activities, etc. My maternal side was showing a little TOO much (as it usually does) so I just tucked it away. :) I can't have anything on my conscience weighing me down.

Yesterday Mr. Man came and picked me up. I don't know why, but I was really excited to see him. I took an extra long time in the shower, put on make-up, and all of that preparation you do for someone you care about looking good in front of. I was looking pretty pretty in a casual kind of way. I felt good, too. We drove around, talking, and joking. Picked up his mom and sister. I noticed that we picked his mom up from the Brown Line. I made a mental note to be careful about what I talk about in public because for some reason, he has family EVERYWHERE, lol. We got settled in and saw Taken (which was GREAT, by the way). Eventually, his nephews came home, and my heart leapt at seeing those little rugrats. Yes, they are overactive, fight, and whine. But in my presence, they vie for my attention and they know the best way to get it is to BEHAVE. It's really cute. I really have a soft spot for those monsters, lol. We were sitting there watching Michael Jackson doing the moves from the Thriller video. I imagine if anyone saw us from outside they would think we were having epileptic seizures. But we were having fun. But then Matthew,the 4 year old, was telling me how the end of the video scared him. I was holding him and explaining how the men were just in costume and makeup, and that they weren't real. I wondered how is it I was in a house full of grownups and everyone disappeared leaving me with the kids, lol. Michael, the 9 year old, kept saying that Matthew was going to crap his pants. Matthew called Michael gay. Oh Black Jesus, why did he say that?! I told him to apologize, but Michael had already bound the stairs to tell, which made me mad. Then Matthew started crying because he knew he was gonna get in trouble. I was sitting on the couch with my mouth open like, how did this happen?!

Of course, there was yelling. Michael came back downstairs upset, and mumbling. I told him to not say things like that about his little brother. I got them to apologize to each other. But by the time I had the boys calmed down, their mother and grandmother were arguing about disciplining them. *rolls eyes* Hard to explain to little people how to behave when grown ups don't have the shit together for themselves. Anyway before I left, they gave me big hugs. Mr. Man came back in the house and was saying "Hey, y'all don't hug me!" LOL. It dawned on me how much I love those little kids.

When we got back to my place, me and Mr. Man had some things to discuss. I will share with you next entry, lol, I'm still thinking and haven't had a chance to make sense of much yet. But we reached a few conclusions. I was laying on my elbow talking to him with my eyes closed and he was looking at me. He was asking about my monthly visitor. Still hasn't visited. He was bragging about the fact that he knocked my cycle off course when we were on vacation. I rolled my eyes and replied that it wasn't ALL OF THAT. I peeked out of my eye to see if he was watching my facial expression as I said that. He said "Look at you can't even say it with a straight face." It's true, I was dying to bust out laughing. We never have problems in the bedroom. We generally don't have problems anyway, but we certainly never have problems there. We started talking about when we do have children. He said five years. I reminded him that just because he has a child and is keen on waiting doesn't mean I am. I expect to be having a child between 28 and 29. Not 30 or 32. He wants to be in the delivery room. I don't want him nowhere near the room. We settled on him being in the room but above the blanket, lol. I told him there is nothing he needs to see down there during childbirth. Eventually he agreed.

Why were we talking about that?! I don't know, lol. I still don't. But it's funny because we both have strong views about how stuff should go, until we talk about it and it always ends up being a compromise, lol. Children are absolutely not on the agenda no time soon, but still, when we discuss these things, its important to win the argument and set the basic premise, lol. From there its all about bragging rights baby. Oh yeah.

Holy crap. Two more days in 2009!

Peace...