Bills, Bills, Bills

I've been thinking so much about being financially set before the end of the year that it dawned on me that one of my brothers has been unemployed at least one full year, and my other brother has been unemployed for about half a year.

Both have Bachelor's degrees.

So, as their sister, I look at them proudly. Two Black men that have their B.A. degrees, have never had problems with the law, and are childless.

But yet they are unemployed.

How do you address something like that? From their perspective, they must be looking at my parents sideways. What happens when you follow the straight and narrow and still come up short in this world?

I don't ever really know what to say to them. It's a slippery slope that is often frustrating. I do understand sometimes when they get frustrated with me, because on one level I can't relate.

I've never been unemployed. Ever.

But on the other hand, I understand that they need to be working, because right now, there is a financial strain in this household with them not working. It's kind of rough. I'm personally, at my wit's end, but I trudge forward and send them jobs that I deem appropriate for them. They've even been rejected from Mickey D's, Wally-Mart. (Although, my theory is, Mickey D's and Wally-Mart are not necessarily seeking those with an education to work there.)

Sigh.

In other news, Mr. Man is attempting to go at the system. His check is being chopped up in about 50gazillion ways (okay, really only two) and he has (finally!) decided that enough is enough. Lord knows he is an intelligent man, but I often wonder what takes him so long to reach the most logical of conclusions. The latest involves a matter regarding medical support that is being taken out of his paycheck. He makes a decent bi-weekly check without child support being taken out, but even then, his check is still bearable. With this latest medical support coming out, he's been struggling. His struggle equals my struggle because of course I help as I can. But given what I already described above in regards to my own financial situation, I don't have much help to give. His roommate moved out, and he is getting by on the bare minimums. Literally. I'm talking noodles in cup minimum. So, he expressed this to his daughter's mother. She in turn takes the high road and says "I will tell the state that our daughter is getting medical insurance." Allegedly, she faxed some sort of paperwork in to "the state." However, when Mr. Man inquired further, it was as if she couldn't be bothered to answer his questions - rant rant rant, hang up and they aren't talking anymore. :/ So, the question is, what did she fax (exactly) and who did she fax it to?

Finding information online, is horrendous. If Mr. Man were a deadbeat dad and a dog, there is plenty of information available - "Girl's Guide How To Get His Ass". And don't get me wrong, tons of men out there deserve to be got. He ain't one of them. To be labeled as the (gasp) non-custodial parent is a dirty dirty word. I know plenty of men who are trying to do the right thing in regards to their kids, but once the state gets involved I could see how they become disinterested. You do your best to make sure the child doesn't get harmed but it's inevitable, particularly when the state isn't trying to help you, or the other party involved isn't trying to help you. I wish (and maybe one day) may even be called to gather and create resources for the non-custodial parent. Because this ish right here is a trip that I didn't get the proper luggage for.

In the meantime, what we can do on our own we will. We've acquired the proper paperwork required to enforce visitation (praise Black Jesus!) and basically end the reign of terror that has been the last four years of this child's life in regards to the constant tug of war.

Question: Why does it always seem to be a battle of some sort going on?

Peace...