Yesterday was my first day of school. My teacher looks like Tad Martin from All My Children (yes, I watch the stories, not regularly, but my mom keeps me posted) and thats what I kept focusing on for the class period. He's one of those "I wanna know WHY you think what you think" professors. My eyebrow stayed raised all class period, because I was amused. He was all "Just call me Matt- I'm not one of those caught on titles" mmhmm..ok...I'll be calling you Professor as I call any one of my other instructors.
I am one of 4 Black people in the classroom. There are a few Middle Eastern girls (I couldn't tell whether they were Indian or Arabian) and it occurred to me to generalize them as Muslims may not be accurate because I have a Mid-Eastern co-worker, but she is Orthodox Christian. The rest of the class was White, from Ohio, or Missouri, or some shit. I swear, I hate class introductions. I love learning, I love education, but I am not really there to make friends. I want to do the best I can and get what I can, but the less interaction with people the better. I especially hate group projects.
grown, man. And if I don't like people by now, I won't like them in this lifetime, got it? (Of course, I love people, and don't mind teamwork, but group projects normally are just a bad situation that could eff up my overall GPA. And I don't like those chances, feel me?)Anyway, I have consciously decided to not let my Renee show AS much, and get back to my core. This essentially means that I don't want to end up resenting Mr. Man. In the beginning our relationship was great, and we didn't really spend that much time together, and lately, I have been craving more time but can't exactly figure out why. As well, I do feel kind of babyish when I admit it to him, especially because when we ARE NOT together, I know his exact itinerary and if he defers from that I am the first to know about it. I'm gonna go ahead and call it a phase. I notice when I'm busy, I don't care much, so I believe it was just a circumstance of being home alone during break not working, not having school work, being stuck in cold weather, and succumbing to the nothingness of it all. So, I made a promise to myself that come what may I will ALWAYS have something to call my own outside of Mr. Man.
That being said, I took myself to class (on the train) and made it BEFORE time. Had I caught the first bus, I may even have gotten there at 5:30 instead of 5:45. I felt so independent. So proud of myself.
I did call him at the close of class so he could bring me home safely. Independent my ass. That was about safety. And we did get home in a timely manner. We ate (the least I could do) and he enjoyed his food. He loves whatever I fix him basically. :) He actually likes MY cooking better than my mom's. He could just be pumping my head up, but others have eaten my food and lived to tell about it so it must be damn good lol. I was settling in on the computer, while he was just kind of laying there watching me work. I was consciously on my best behavior to not start anything before he left. I hate to start and then stop. Nope, you start with me, prepare to be here for the next 2 hours at least.
Then he says..."2011 is the wedding right? No more Trojans?" I looked over the computer screen and raised my eyebrow. Negreaux say what?? Then he reached over and touched my belly and said "Miles is on his way in 2011." I did smile at the comment. We both know that I want kids within the next couple years (sticking in my original time frame) and we both know I want a boy first, and we both know his name will be Miles (after the jazz great) Emory (after the Black Panther artist extraordinaire), and I am pretty sure he'll look like me so it's a possibility he will wear glasses and be average height. As well, we were talking about how, we haven't had children yet, but how I'm absolutely already in love with them. (We've decided on at least 3) So I put my laptop on my dresser and laid my head on his chest listening to his heart beat as he rambled about fatherhood, and marriage, how much he adores me, and us, and how its all going to be just great. I don't know if he is baby crazy at the moment because of the Secret Life of American Teenager marathon I made him sit through the night before (what?! I love that show okay???) or if it just hits him sometimes how good we are together. But I could tell it was one of those occasions where he wanted to be up talking all night (just talking) and didn't want to leave. And I end up all, sappy, and soft-eyed, and bubbly and wondered how I could ever doubt this isn't my man through and through. Grr.
It was a good day.
Peace.
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